Helplessly, Hopelessly
by Morphimal
Summary: Musicfic, following 'Wish You Were Here.' Like my other two JQ stories, this was written a few years ago.


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone connected to the Quest team, and 'Hopelessly, Helplessly' belongs to Jessica Andrews.

Author's note: This should be read after 'Bittersweet Remembrance' and can be read after 'I Wish You Were Here', but all three can sort of stand on their own. Words in italics are song lyrics.

Helplessly, Hopelessly

The blue-eyed blonde stared at the professor as he droned through a lecture. She didn't know what he was talking about; she hadn't really been paying attention. She just sort of zoned out. It had been a week and a half since the cancer claimed her mother's life. She wasn't sure now what she'd been thinking when she insisted on going back to university. The way she was going, she'd be lucky if she got notes written, much less if she passed an actual test. Suddenly, she realized the professor was speaking to her.

"Rachel? Rachel, can you hear me?" he asked, his glasses sliding to the edge of his nose.

"Yes, sir. Sorry," she said. The professor pointed to the back of the classroom, towards the doors.

"You have someone who wishes to see you," he said. Turning around, Rachel saw her roommate Estella, a friend she'd met in high school, waving for her to come quick. Afraid something might be wrong, she packed her books and rushed out to follow her red-haired friend.

"Stella, is something wrong? You're first class isn't for-" Rachel checked her watch "-another hour, at least! Are you gonna tell me what's happening, or did you just feel like pulling me out of class to see how much MORE trouble you could get me in?" They were getting closer to the dorm rooms as she spoke.

"Just wait and see, Ray," replied Estella in her thick Colombian accent. She giggled. "This is going to blow you away!" Shaking her head at her friend's strange behavior, Rachel's mind wandered back to her life.

_I can stand with the weight of the world on my shoulders  
I can fight with the toughest of the tough_

Ever since her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Rachel had done her best to be strong for her father.

_I can laugh in the face of all my insecurities_

She even tried to smile and laugh, to try and take the good with the bad. But she was getting tired.

_Anytime, anywhere, anything  
I'm strong enough_

She was thinking about how much strength those fake smiles cost her as Estella led her up the stairway to their dorm room. Suddenly, she was pushed into a room filled with roses and pictures. She gasped at the photos of herself that now decorated the rose-blanketed room and whispered the name of the only person who could have done this: "Benny…"

_But when you're holding me like this  
I'm carelessly lost in your touch  
I'm completely defenseless  
Baby, it's almost too much  
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly  
Falling in love_

Dropping her books, Rachel picked up a single white rose from the sea of red and read the note attached.

_So let consequence do what it will to us, I don't care  
Let the stars stand as witness to it all_

"Rachel,  
I know you have class right now, but I really want to see you. Meet me in the planetarium.  
Benton"

Eyes glistening with held-back tears, she ran from the room with rose in hand only turning back to wave to Estella who stood grinning widely outside their room.

_Say the word and tonight I will follow you anywhere_

She ran past people, barely noticing if she ran into them. Benny was waiting for her, and she always felt better around him no matter where they were.

_I just can't pretend anymore  
I'm too sturdy to fall_

She finally made it to the planetarium, and when she rushed into the darkened star-theatre she stumbled over a bump in the carpet and into the arms of the young man waiting for her. Her tears spilled over as she looked up into warm brown eyes, and she felt her muscles finally give out as she clung to the one person who could make her feel whole again.

_But when you're holding me like this  
I'm carelessly lost in your touch  
I'm completely defenseless  
Baby, it's almost too much  
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly  
Falling in love_

Benny held her tightly, whispering words of comfort and love as she released all the emotion that had been building up inside. As her tears began to ebb, she could hear strains of music over the speakers. She recognized the song as the one they were dancing to when she first agreed to go out with him. Smiling and sniffling, she fell into the swaying motion  
Benny had gently started, and they danced slowly with Benny humming along with the music.

_I am not afraid  
I am not afraid_

Pulling back a little, Benny said, "I remember how scary it was when I lost my mom. Having a father or a friend there helps, but it's always terrifying to think that mama'll never be there again to tuck you in at night or to listen when you need to vent about something." He smiled and continued, "But I'll be here for you whenever you're afraid, got that?" She smiled back.

"When I'm with you, Benny, I don't feel scared at all." She sang along with the song,

"_'Cause when you're holding me like this  
I'm carelessly lost in your touch  
I'm completely defenseless  
Baby, it's almost too much  
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly  
Falling...  
(Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly)  
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly  
Falling in love_"

The music faded, and the couple kissed gently. Benton reached up a hand and gently wiped away the fresh wave of tears from Rachel's cheeks. She grabbed his hand and kissed it, saying,

"Every time I think it's hopeless, that I can't go further than the next step, there you are. I love you so much. Thank you." Benton kissed her one more time before putting his arm around her shoulder and leading her towards the exit.

"Anything for you, Ray. Anything."

* * *

Please let me know what you think! Please!


End file.
